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Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in
moon_watcher99's LiveJournal:
| Saturday, November 28th, 2009 | | 7:28 pm |
What the heck...
Blame blkdragonqueen. I figured, why not?  Anybody care to gift me with a few clicks? I'll probably need all the help I can get! Current Mood:  mischievousCurrent Music: Goodnight - The Birthday Massacre | | 7:13 pm |
Writer's Block: Book worms unite!
For the best, I have to answer in trilogies, since I consider books in a series as a whole, rather than individual books. The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Thrawn trilogy (Star Wars Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, and Last Command) and Mercedes Lackey's The Bardic Voices trilogy (The Lark and the Wren, The Robin and the Kestrel, The Eagle and the Nightingale.) And possibly Mercedes Lackey's Obsidian trilogy, for a runner-up. As for the worst... Silas Marner, Grendel (and Beowulf, for that matter), and anything by Shakespeare. | | Thursday, November 19th, 2009 | | 7:16 pm |
Writer's Block: First Things First
Usually? I log onto Fanfic.net, or whatever specialty archive best fits my current choice of fandom, and see if any good stories have been posted or updated. Current Music: Golden Queen Galaxia - Sailor Moon Sailor Stars OST | | Sunday, November 15th, 2009 | | 1:21 am |
| | Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 | | 9:36 pm |
Writer's Block: Seeing stars
Probably Horatio Caine. Oh so hot, and such a good man to boot! Current Mood:  amusedCurrent Music: The Other Side - Sirenia | | Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 | | 5:17 pm |
| | Friday, May 29th, 2009 | | 10:25 pm |
Sweet!
Your results: You are Jean-Luc Picard| Jean-Luc Picard |
| 75% |
| Will Riker |
| 70% |
| An Expendable Character (Redshirt) |
| 65% |
| Leonard McCoy (Bones) |
| 60% |
| Spock |
| 55% |
| Geordi LaForge |
| 55% |
| James T. Kirk (Captain) |
| 50% |
| Uhura |
| 45% |
| Worf |
| 45% |
| Chekov |
| 40% |
| Data |
| 37% |
| Deanna Troi |
| 35% |
| Beverly Crusher |
| 30% |
| Mr. Sulu |
| 25% |
| Mr. Scott |
| 20% |
|
A lover of Shakespeare and other
fine literature. You have a decisive mind
and a firm hand in dealing with others.
 |
Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz Current Mood: amusedCurrent Music: Never Alone - Barlow Girl | | Sunday, May 24th, 2009 | | 9:04 pm |
Naruto - wip - chapter 1
The wind blew softly through the trees, but the hunched figure seated on the hill didn't feel it. Her eyes remained fixed on the memorial stone, just visible beneath the hill. A gentle sigh escaped the girl. Mitani had long ago picked this place as a refuge, a place to sit and think whenever she needed to escape from her home. Such occasions happened often, and this was one place she could remain mostly undisturbed. People who visited the memorial were generally too fixed on paying their respects to notice the lone figure. Mitani allowed her eyes to roam over the surroundings of Konoha. Such a beautiful village, and one that she loved, but one with such an ugly feeling under the surface. It saddened her that this was so. This was the reason for her constant solitude. Most of the villagers would seem to be nice, caring people, but Mitani could never bring herself to accept this image. The reason for this was that, unlike many at her age, she observed the treatment of Uzumaki Naruto. And what's more, she did not approve. Mitani had only spoken to Naruto a few times, but each time it struck her how unbearably hard it had to be to constantly appear so carefree, when he was treated so harshly. And all for something that was no fault of his! Her mind wandered back to the recent conversation she had endured from her family. 'Do not approach the Uzumaki boy again! You will avoid any contact with him!' 'I will not. He should not be treated this way! The whole village shuns him. It's cruel!' 'He has no right to live here. Not after what he has done!' So, that was the answer. Naruto housed the kitsune. Mitani snorted gently at the thought. Unlike some, she had a brain, and she knew how to use it. If the kitsune had been sealed 12 years ago, then Naruto had been a newborn. He should be honored for his sacrifice, for dealing with something that he had no control over! Instead the whole village treats him as nothing more than an extension of the kitsune. Mitani sighed again. Naruto was going to have a hard road ahead. She knew that he had been accepted as a genin. Just the other day, she had observed him wearing a leaf headband, signaling his status as a shinobi in training. But still, it seemed life was against him. His teamates appeared to want nothing to do with him, and Mitani could tell that Naruto was frustrated, lashing out in response to his pain. Mitani could well relate. The only skill she possessed was her voice, and she used it to express her thoughts and feelings in song. Naruto had yet to find his outlet, and he was searching for a way to impress his teammates. Thinking of Naruto was painful. She wished he would find some guidance from his teacher, but it would be unlikely if the shinobi shared the rest of the village's hate. Staring up at the sky, Mitani opened her mouth to give voice to her wish, not noticing that she was no longer alone. Kakashi paused in his steps. He had been at the memorial, paying his respects to his old team. Naruto had reminded him so much of Obito it was painful. Teaching him would be difficult. And seeing how much the treatment of the villagers had scarred Naruto had hurt. Kakashi was no fool. He could easily see that Naruto's laughter was not as genuine as everyone thought. The boy was desperate to appear carefree, but Kakashi could see the deep ache of loneliness that Naruto felt. That, too, hurt, reminding Kakashi of how long it had been since he let anyone close. The loss of his team constantly haunted Kakashi, creating a wall of sadness that pushed all away. Now that he had a team, he would have to think of their welfare, and that meant caring for their feelings as well. With these thoughts running through his mind, he turned to go, when a sound reached him. Someone was singing, their voice clear yet soft. The sound, so hopeful yet so sad, gained his interest. Catching sight of a lone figure on the nearby hill, he decided to see who was pouring such feelings into the night. May it be an evening star Shines down upon you. May it be when darkness falls Your heart will be true. You walk a lonely road; Oh how far you are from home. Mitani closed her eyes, pushing her song into the dark. It was true; Naruto's path would be difficult and lonely. She hoped that he would find someone to help guide him. Before long, she got the sense that something had changed. Opening her eyes, she was startled to discover that she had an audience. The man wore the uniform of a Chuunin/Jounin of Konoha, and his single uncovered eye was staring at her in a serious manner. "What do you want?" The man's eye curved, as if he was smiling under his mask. "I didn't mean to startle you. I was just curious to see who was sending such a message into the night. Why are you here at such a late hour?" Mitani looked down. "I sit here often, because I am not welcomed by my family and neighbors. And when I've been sent away, I like to come here and think. It's a nice refuge from everyone." "And your song? Was that for you?" Mitani lowered her eyes, but she was determined not to hide from this man. She would not hide her feelings! "Naruto. My song was for Naruto." Kakashi didn't show it, but he was surprised at her answer. Why would this girl be harboring thoughts for his student? She wasn't a shinobi, so he was sure they hadn't encountered each other in school. And Naruto had never said anything about a civilian friend. And yet, something about this girl reminded him of Naruto. She had the same air of sadness around her. "Why do you sing for Naruto?" The girl sighed. "Because I see how he's treated, and I know the reason. Because I wish I could help, but I don't know how. Because..." her voice softened. "...Because I understand him. He wishes for acceptance, but he has no idea how to gain it. He doesn't know how to express his desires without seeming weak, so he's frustrated." "So this is your way of expressing your desires?" Kakashi noted how the girl's eyes seemed to flash at his offhand question. "It may not seem like much, but song is all I know. Yes, it's my way of expression." Kakashi held up his hands in a placating manner. "I was not mocking you. Tell me, what is your name?" "Mitani." Kakashi filed the name away in his memory. This girl was interesting. She seemed unusually compassionate, especially where Naruto was concerned. "Please. Continue with your music. I did not mean to interrupt." The girl shot him a frown, but then turned to resume her song. Kakashi decided to sit and listen. It was a fitting song for Naruto. May it be the Shadow's call Will fly away. May it be you journey on to light the day. When the night is overcome yoy may rise to find the sun. When Mitani ended her song, she was surprised to see that the man was still sitting there. It was odd to see someone at the memorial this late. "You were at the memorial. Is there someone close to you recorded there?" Mitani was startled when the man gave her a hard look, but it soon softened. "All of my friends are there." Mitani clenched her hands in sympathy. This man tried to sound nonchalant, but he seemed...haunted. "All? You have no one among the living?" Silently the man shook his head. "That's not good. Our bonds are all that hold us to this world. Without them, we are nothing." The man looked up, as if interested in her words. "What holds you to this world, then?" Clearly he remembered her earlier comment about her family. "My bonds are formed differently. Music connects me to all. We all create a song. That song may change, but its still there. I try to express what I see and hear with music." Mitani could tell the man didn't quite understand what she meant, but that was okay. Many didn't, and it didn't bother her. She was more surprised when they did understand. Mitani noticed the man casting glances down at the memorial. For some reason, she felt a desire to know this man, so she tried to get more details from him. "The ones recorded below...your family?" Slowly he shook his head. "My teammates." His voice was almost inaudible. "How did they die?" His eyes closed, as if in pain. "One died to save my life. The other died in battle." Mitani could see that their deaths, however long ago, still haunted him. Suddenly the man surged to his feet. He seemed eager to leave, and Mitani realized that he was uncomfortable with how much he had said. "I apologize for having disturbed you. Ja ne." Quickly he started to walk away, but Mitani called after him. "Wait!" He stopped walking, although he didn't turn. "Please, before you leave. What is your name?" Mitani watched as he stiffened, before relaxing and calling back. "Hatake Kakashi." Before Mitani could say another word, he disappeared. Kakashi. Mitani rolled the name around in her mind. Such a heavy air of sadness he carried. It could almost be seen around him. Without quite realizing it, Mitani began another song. Kakashi sighed as he walked slowly away. It would have surprised Mitani how close he still was. After he had disappeared from her line of sight, he had slowed his pace, and now was actually walking very slowly. He paid little attention to his surroundings, instead brooding on what had just happened. 'How could I have said so much? And to a stranger?' It was true. Some of the things he had revealed it had taken his fellow jounin years to find out. For some reason, it had seemed natural to talk to that girl. 'Mitani.' Kakashi mused over his encounter. His mind wandered over some of the things she had said. ~Music connects me to all. We all create a song.~ What exactly had she meant? Kakashi felt that he almost understood, but the meaning hovered just out of reach. Just as he was about to shrug the encounter off, a new sound reached him. I miss you Miss you so bad. I don't forget you Oh, its so sad. I hope you can hear me. I remember it clearly The day you slipped away Was the day I found it won't be the same. Kakashi froze in his tracks. His mind told him to move, but he couldn't seem to respond. The words seemed to burn him. Mitani's words flashed through his mind again. He suddenly knew with absolute certainty that Mitani was singing for his loss, and the memory of his team. I didn't get around to kiss you goodbye on the hand. I wish that I could see you again. I know that I can't I hope you can hear me 'Cause I remember it clearly The day you slipped away Was the day I found it won't be the same. Kakashi slowly sank to his knees as memories washed over him. Seeing Obito being crushed underneath the landslide. The day that Rin was brought back to the village. And that day. The day his sensei made the ultimate sacrifice. The day the nine-tails attacked. Seeing his teacher fall before the monster, and knowing that although his teacher had protected what was most important to him, he would never realize his success. Thoughts and images washed over him, all driven by the soft voice he could hear floating through the dark. How did she see? How could she know exactly what words would resonate within his memories? I've had my wake up Won't you wake up? I keep asking why. And I can't take it It wasn't fake it happened; You passed by. Now you're gone, now you're gone There you go, there you go Somewhere I can't bring you back Now you're gone, now you're gone There you go, there you go Somewhere you're not coming back. Kakashi held his hands to his face. Slowly a lone tear made its way down his cheek, only to be caught by his mask. How could she know? And why would she waste her song on him, when it was clearly so important to her? Suddenly he realized he no longer heard her voice. In fact, he couldn't hear anything. How long had he been kneeling here? In his confusion, Kakashi turned around and returned to the clearing. He hoped to find some kind of answer to his questions, but he could find no trace of the girl when he returned. Somehow she had left, without him noticing. 'Of course,' he bitterly acknowledged,'I let myself get so shaken that I probably wouldn't have noticed if Itachi had stood right in front of me and offered to strip.' Kakashi pictured the girl again in his mind. She was certainly different. For some reason, Kakashi suddenly wanted to know more about her. Why did she seem so lonely, when she was clearly so compassionate? How did she manage to put such feelings into song so effortlessly? If this was a frequent haunt of hers, then surely he would manage to find her here again. Kakashi was certainly no stranger to the memorial. He resolved to watch for her presence. In the meantime, he would have to give some thought to his team. And the unexpected insights Mitani had given him. Current Mood:  weirdCurrent Music: Nothing Else Matters - Biff Naked | | Tuesday, February 17th, 2009 | | 8:35 am |
| | Sunday, January 25th, 2009 | | 8:03 pm |
| | Tuesday, December 30th, 2008 | | 11:45 pm |
Thawing of the Heart chapter two - Hikaru no Go
After pulling into his parking spot, Ogata shut off the engine, before pocketing his keys. Turning to regard his companion, he frowned in concern. Shindou had not said one word during the drive over. In fact, he appeared to have retreated entirely. Ogata exited the car, taking a moment to run a hand through his hair. How was he to fix this? And why did it bother him so much? He couldn't deny that watching Hikaru, (Shindou, I must remember that. his mind whispered) watching Shindou break down had caused a great deal of concern. Now the younger man was so withdrawn it was almost frightening. Ogata made his way to the passenger side, fighting down a curious sense of fear. Hikaru showed practically no reaction when Ogata opened his door. Shindou-kun? Swallowing at the lack of response, Ogata reached down to grasp Hikaru's arm. Come, Shindou-kun, we're here. Slowly Hikaru allowed himself to be led away from the car. Ogata's concern did not abate during the short walk. Hikaru was following his lead, but the young pro was still frighteningly silent. It seemed terribly wrong, when he was usually so quick and energetic. As soon as he got Hikaru into the apartment, he wasted no time in sitting Hikaru down on the couch. The new and unfamiliar surroundings appeared to spark a bit of interest, and Ogata watched as Hikaru's eyes were drawn to his aquarium. Ogata frowned slightly as a stray thought raced through his mind. When was the last time I brought someone into my apartment? He actually couldn't recall ever allowing anyone to enter. Even the few women he had dated (why am I thinking of this now?) had never been here. His attention was forced back to Hikaru when the younger player groaned, burying his face in his hands. Shindou-kun? Gomen, Ogata-sensei. I didn't mean to cause you any trouble. Ogata clenched his fists unconsciously. Hikaru sounded far too broken for his liking. It is alright, Shindou-kun. Hesitantly Hikaru lowered his arms and met Ogata's gaze. Why did you bring me to your apartment? Because I was hoping that you would tell me, Shindou-kun. Tell you what? Whatever you wish to. Whatever you feel needs to be said. Whatever is tearing you apart so badly. Ogata felt a tiny flicker of rage at the startled look that flashed over Hikaru's face. Had no one bothered to stop and pay attention to him? How could such deep misery be overlooked so completely? Ogata could see it, swimming in Hikaru's green eyes. Even as he watched, Hikaru hunched over, as if to protect himself. Sai...he...he... Ogata again reached out, prompted by the fresh tears he could see gathering. You said earlier that he was gone. He...passed away? Hikaru nodded hesitantly and Ogata's hand tightened in sympathy. I'm sorry, Shindou-kun. For a moment he hesitated, before softly continuing Tell me about him. When Hikaru began to shake his head, in almost unconscious denial, Ogata gently forced him to meet his eyes. Shindou-kun, you have been holding this inside. But sometimes, that can cause more harm than any loss. I promise I will not demand anything you are not ready to share. Unaware of the wealth of emotions he was unwittingly displaying, Ogata offerend an encouraging smile. Tell me about him, Hikaru. Share this loss with me. Swallowing hard, Hikaru braced himself to speak. Sai was... he was almost like a child. He had so much enthusiasm for everything. And he loved Go. Whenever he talked about it... he would light up, as if his universe was that much brighter for it. We used to play so often... He was... He was your teacher. Yes. Slowly a few tears escaped to trickle down Hikaru's face. He taught me so much... About honor. And respect. He showed me the beauty in the game, helped me to understand it. The tears were beginning to flow faster now. He was so patient with me, even when I didn't bother to listen... He must have cared a great deal about you. He did. Even when I didn't deserve it. For a moment Hikaru's eyes closed in pain, before reopening to stare at nothing. Even when I was selfish, or rude, he always tried to help. He never stoped teaching me. Something was nagging at the back of Ogata's mind. It was as if a puzzle piece had suddenly clicked into place. This is what happened to you. When you disappeared from Go. This is why... Hikaru nodded miserably. When he left... it was all too much! His Go was the only thing I had left of him, but it hurt! It hurt so much, to look at the goban, and know that he would never play again, never sit there and tease me about how I lost to Waya, or encourage me to face my next opponent... I couldn't face it! He was gone, and... Hikaru's shoulders were heaving now, the words pouring from him in a rush. Without thinking, Ogata moved closer, reaching out to Hikaru. Hikaru stared at Ogata for only a moment, before collapsing against him, clutching his shoulders as if his world would fly apart. It hurts! It hurts so much! Once again Ogata found himself holding on to a sobbing Hikaru, whispering reasurrences. It was only now, as he felt Hikaru's tears soak into his shirt, that it finally struck him for the first time how out of character he was behaving. What am I doing? he thought to himself. This isn't like me at all. It was true, the blond Go player usually had no patience for emotional displays, either his own or others'. Had this situation occured with anyone else, Ogata would have excused himself, quickly and quietly. He would not have stuck around to watch them cry or listen to them talk, and he certainly wouldn't have brought them back to his home. Yet with Hikaru... Ogata realized that he had, for the past several minutes and without any conscious thought, been running his hand through Hikaru's hair in an effort to soothe the young pro. With Hikaru there wasn't even the question of whether he should get involved. Seeing the younger player breaking down was actually painful, and Ogata found that he desired nothing more than to provide comfort. Watching Hikaru, seeing his struggles and feeling his heartbreak, caused a deep ache in his own heart. Slowly he leaned back, stretching his full length out on the couch and allowing Hikaru to burrow even closer to his chest. Somehow, this overwhelming feeling didn't seem wrong, despite the fact that it was causing him to act in a way totally contrary to his usual nature. It felt...good, it felt right, even though a tiny voice in the back of his mind tried to point out that nothing about this situation should have seemed 'right'. Slowly Ogata registered the fact that Hikaru's tears were tapering off, that his fists, clenched in the material of Ogata's shirt, were beginning to loosen - that he was actually falling asleep, still cradled against Ogata's chest by his careful arms. Softly he leaned his head back to rest against the couch's arm, even while he continued to card his fingers through Hikaru's hair. It somehow felt like this tenderness that he had discovered within himself was threatening to break apart, like a tiny seed inside himself that was cracking, opening itself to develop into - what? Again he looked down at Hikaru's face, resting so peacefully against his chest. He could feel it rising up inside him, fed by the gentle weight of Hikaru's head, flowing in waves with each quiet breath Hikaru exhaled - and again he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, some last small part of him trying to deny it, while the rest simply basked in the feeling. Love. There was no other name that could be put to it. There was no telling how it had developed. Was it born of his early facination with Hikaru, back when he was a new player with such promise? Or had it grown later, when Hikaru's successes had turned Ogata's scrutiny into a sense of respect, even admiration? Either way, there was no point in even trying to deny it. This was the reason for his guilt over Hikaru's avoidance of him, why he felt compelled to speak to the younger player, why the sight of Hikaru's breakdown caused such an ache in his own heart. I am in love with him. Perhaps the strangest thing about that thought was it's complete failure to awaken any panic or fear, as it should have. After all, Hikaru had only just come of age, was several years his junior, was unlikely in the extreme to return his feelings... the negative list was endless. Yet somehow Ogata could not find it within himself to care about that right now. He trusted me enough to confide in me. He trusted me with his pain. He was able to provide comfort, to be a safe haven. It was enough for now, Ogata thought sleepily to himself. What may or may not happen is in the future, but for now... this is enough. note: Some may be wondering about the ease with which Hikaru speaks of Sai, whereas before he tried so hard to keep Sai a secret. My general opinion is that, now that Sai is gone, he feels that he can allow people to draw their own conclusions safely. For instance, when Ogata asked if Sai had passed away, he was assuming that Sai had died, perhaps thinking that he had been confined to a hospital or too ill to travel, which would explain why he was never seen. Obviously that's not the case, but it covers the basic facts enough to let Hikaru speak about his loss without being afraid of revealing too much. Current Mood:  aggravatedCurrent Music: Blue, Dressed in Black - Eric Stuart (Kaiba!):D | | Wednesday, December 24th, 2008 | | 9:53 pm |
Grounded on the Edge of Reality - Dirge of Cerberus
Reeve sat, staring at the remains of his office. Everything was in ruins. Everything he had worked for, all the time and effort he had expended - all was destroyed. The attack had been repelled, and Reeve knew that he should be taking action, seeing about survivors, planning the next move...anything other than what he was doing. But he couldn't summon the energy to move. It was the sound of quiet footsteps that finally caused him to raise his head. His eyes widened when they caught sight of Vincent stepping carefully into the doorway. Reeve cast his gaze back down at the floor. How must this look to his friend? "I'm so ashamed. I am supposed to be a hero of the Jenova War. But look at me..." Reeve hung his head, unable to voice the rest of his words. Look at how I failed everyone. Slowly Vincent knelt beside his friend. "Don't take all the blame." Reeve met Vincent's gaze, pain clearly written in his eyes, but Vincent gently shook his head. "You're not thinking of giving up, are you? I used to be nothing but a stone in the river of time, but three years ago, it was you and the others who taught me I had to move ahead." Having said this, Vincent slowly settled himself beside Reeve, clearly prepared to offer his friend time to sort his own thoughts and feelings out. "Vincent..." Reeve had never heard the other man reveal so much with his words. The gunman was normally so stoic and aloof. It was rare to hear any form of comfort from him. Reeve tried to let Vincent's words soothe his mind, but it was more difficult to let go of his guilt. He knew, without a doubt, that many people had died during this attack. The knowledge of their deaths tore at him. Even Cait Sith was gone. Reeve had no idea if any of the Caits had survived the attack. Thinking about Cait recalled the events during Vincent's recovery. Reeve remembered the despair that had threatened to crush him when he realized that Vincent had been badly wounded, all because of him. He had been in the lab, keeping watch over his friend, when everything had overwhelmed him at once. Reeve had no idea how long he had remained on his knees in front of the regen tank with his head buried in his hands, his mind wailing over and over my fault, my fault, my fault. It was fortunate that Cait Sith had come to report on the latest activities of Deepground, or else anyone might have walked in. As it was, Reeve had not shifted one bit, simply remaining on the floor. Only Cait's suggestion that he reveal his feelings for Vincent had prompted him to regain his feet. Reeve thought about what Cait Sith had said. Remember, when I contacted him in Kalm, I met him in your form. Now your form got shot, but he didn't know it was me! And the look on his face was not one I've ever seen before. It shocked him, it did! Oh, he took revenge on the one to 'kill' you, quick enough. And when he had, he rushed to gather you up before you were gone. I know that he cares for you, master. Perhaps you should have a chat, when he gets out? Events had moved too quickly for Reeve to consider having any such conversation. Almost as soon as Vincent had awoken, the Tsvietts had attacked, and Vincent had left for Niblehiem on his self-appointed mission. Reeve had been left to try and organize some type of defense against the enemy, while simultaneously using Cait Sith to try and determine what their intentions really were. And his emotions received another hammer blow when he was informed that Vincent had again been injured. The details were unknown, but Yuffie had reported that when she pulled him out of Shinra Manor he had been totally unconscious, with a gaping wound in his chest. The thought of how close Vincent had probably come to death was enough to make Reeve shake. Twice now, his friend had risked himself to help Reeve, and had been injured in the process. Who was Reeve to deserve such devotion? Vincent had no reason to help him, and yet he put his life on the line, twice! And how did Reeve repay him? Reeve had almost gotten him killed! Reeve pictured a future without Vincent in it, and the thought was enough to drive him to tears. A groan escaped him as he imagined Vincent leaving on a mission, and never returning. How would he go on? What would be left of his world, if Vincent were killed? How could he cope with the guilt... Reeve was abruptly pulled out of his thoughts by a warm hand on his shoulder. Vincent had watched as Reeve struggled with his thoughts. He wasn't overly surprised by Reeve's pain; the man had been in charge of the WRO, and as such he would feel responsible. Vincent knew it would take some time for Reeve to work through his guilt, and he had sat down with every intention of waiting for Reeve to come to terms with what had happened. He grew concerned, however, when he noticed that Reeve was shaking. He face had a haunted look, as if he was seeing something he couldn't possibly deal with. Whatever Reeve was thinking had reduced the man to tears, and Vincent couldn't let Reeve continue to torment himself. Gently he placed his human arm on Reeve's shoulder. The look he received in return melted his heart. Reeve couldn't help but meet Vincent's eyes. The look on Vincent's face was one of concern. It sent a fresh spike of agony through him. This man had been through so much, and yet Reeve had endangered him again and again. "Vincent..." He clutched at the hand on his shoulder like a lifeline. Vincent's eyes widened as Reeve seemed to come apart, the words spilling from him along with the agony he had been engulfed in. "I'm sorry, so sorry... I shouldn't have involved you... My fault, my fault..." Reeve curled in on himself, words rushing past his lips faster than he could even make sense of them. He couldn't seem to stop, he was being overwhelmed. Twice Vincent had been injured, and now Reeve had let everyone else down, too. my fault, my fault, my fault. How could Vincent offer him comfort, when it was Reeve who had endangered him in the first place? He waited for Vincent to pull away, waited for the accusations that he surely deserved. The hand on his shoulder tightened, and he braced himself for the worst. It never came. Instead of a quick withdrawal, another arm came around his shoulders. He felt a gentle pulling, and found himself being sheltered by Vincent's lean frame. His head was cradled against Vincent's chest, and he felt a warm hand begin stroking through his hair, soothing him. Slowly he began to calm. When all but his shaking had ended, Vincent began to speak. "Reeve. I don't blame you for any of this. You haven't done anything wrong, and the fact that you care enough to feel pain over me is worth more than you know. Don't let yourself be destroyed over this." Hesitantly Reeve looked up, to find Vincent staring intently at him. The emotions he saw swirling in Vincent's eyes were ones he had never seen before, and he was almost afraid to name them. It brought to mind the time just before Vincent had left for Shinra Manor. His friend had seemed oddly intent at that time, too, as though he wanted to say something, but felt that it wasn't the right time. Again Reeve heard the echo of Cait Sith. I know that he cares for you, master. Perhaps you should have a chat, when he gets out? The reality of the situation began to register. Vincent had deliberately sought him out and offered comfort; comfort with words, comfort with his touch... he used his own body to shelter him! Reeve felt hope beginning to bubble up, despite his best efforts. He had longed for Vincent's touch, had dreamed about it for so long. Now Vincent was holding him, actually cradling his body, and Reeve found himself unable to speak. He couldn't seem to think, his mind refused to form words, and all he could do was soak up the comfort Vincent was offering, reveling in the warmth he could feel pouring from Vincent's body. Gently Vincent began making soothing strokes against his back, before speaking again. "Reeve. Do you remember the last time I was here? When I was brought back by Shalua?" Reeve shuddered at the thought, and felt Vincent's arms tighten around him for a moment, before resuming his stroking. "While I was in the regen tank, I drifted in and out of consciousness. At first, I couldn't focus on the things I was hearing, but I remembered the sound of someone shouting... of you shouting. I had wondered at the time, what could make you so upset." The more Vincent spoke, the more Reeve began to tense up. Surely Vincent couldn't have heard... "It wasn't the shouting that really got my attention, though. What really pulled me out was hearing someone crying, and having no idea who. I knew that something was wrong when I heard that sound, and it pulled at my awareness. I never expected to find my friend brought to his knees for my sake." He knows The thought exploded through Reeve's mind. Somehow, he knew without a doubt that Vincent had heard everything. His weeping, the conversation with Cait Sith, his confession...everything had been laid bare. Reeve began to panic, but Vincent had already sensed the growing tension in him. Gently he cupped Reeve's face with his good hand, forcing Reeve to meet his gaze. Frantic green met calm ruby, as Vincent sought to reassure Reeve with his touch. Slowly he drifted his fingers across Reeve's face. "You have no idea of what it meant to discover that someone actually had feelings for me. To know that someone cared that deeply about my pain... its an incredible gift." Hesitantly Reeve reached out to return Vincent's touch. It amazed him when Vincent not only allowed it but actually leaned into it, eyes slipping closed in pleasure. "Vincent..." Reeve could hardly believe the turn events had taken. From the ashes of what seemed like his greatest failure, he was being granted the one thing he had most longed for, yet never expected. But there was no denying the obvious satisfaction that Vincent was deriving from his touch. Slowly he ghosted his fingers down Vincent's face to trace them across his lips. He felt a small thrill of excitement bloom in his chest when Vincent actually shuddered with the contact, pulling Reeve closer. That one reaction gave Reeve the confidence he had been lacking. Vincent's eyes flew open with surprise when he registered the soft feel of lips meeting his own. Moaning, he returned the kiss, raking his hand through Reeve's hair. He had tried to imagine what it would feel like, to be the recipient of Reeve's attentions, but this was beyond his expectations. He had never expected to feel this much pleasure from a simple touch. It raced along his nerves, and when Reeve pulled away he could feel his lips tingling in response. Reeve almost groaned at the look he received when he pulled away. Vincent's eyes were filled with a mixture of surprise and longing. The passion he could see growing behind the surprise made him long to return for more, to trace Vincent's features and learn the contours of his body, but his eyes swept across his damaged office, and he ruefully acknowledged that now was not the time. Slowly he pulled back, waiting until Vincent released him before reaching for his hands. Gently he clutched them both, one hand curling gently over the claws of his gauntlet, the other holding firmly to his human hand. "I have loved you for so long that it feels like forever. Sometimes it seems that its all that keeps me going. And now... now it feels like I have something to fight for again. Thank you, Vincent, for not letting me give up." Vincent nodded, and ran his hand across Reeve's face in a final caress before getting to his feet. "Just remember that you are never alone. Your friends are always supporting you." And so am I he added silently. He made it almost to the door, when Reeve called him softly. "Vincent?" Slowly he turned back to face Reeve. "Deepground has yet to reveal their most powerful forces. You have already been through so much, and I... I can't lose you. Seeing you injured devastated me. To lose you would destroy me. Please... promise you'll come through this safely?" Slowly Vincent nodded. "I will. I don't have a choice - now I have something to fight for as well." So saying, he turned and left, but the feelings he left behind burned in Reeve. They would come through this. All of them. No other outcome was acceptable. With that in mind, he got to his feet. Their enemies were marshaling, and he had a strategy to plan. Current Mood:  contentCurrent Music: Warriors - Yu-gi-oh! OST | | 9:45 pm |
Hovering on the Edge of Twilight - Dirge of Cerberus
The thoughts flew through Vincent's mind as he fell. This Rosso was strong. Very strong. Perhaps it was only that Vincent had been caught off-guard. Perhaps not. But his normal skill had not been enough to survive the encounter. He considered all this as his body fell, lacking the strength to stop or even control his fall. So, he had been forced to call on Chaos to fend her off? Vincent was not ashamed of the fact. Rosso was a worthy opponent. Vincent landed on his back, the rain still falling gently around him. Slowly a sound emerged from his throat. "Ha...ha...haha." Still, he was unbeaten. He would not be taken so easily! But the effort of controlling Chaos had drained all his reserves, and now he had nothing left to fend off the darkness flickering at the edges of his vision. The last thing visible was a pair of legs that he somehow knew belonged to a friend... or at least an ally. They were all he saw before he succumbed totally to unconsciousness. ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- --------------- The first thing that registered in Vincent's mind was the sound of someone shouting. Vincent was unable to move, or even open his eyes, but the voice managed to pierce the wall of his unconsciousness. It sounded like someone was terribly upset... Slowly the sound resolved itself into Reeve's voice. "What do you mean you found him collapsed!?" Another voice could be heard murmuring explanations about Edge, and something about an encounter with Rosso. "Rosso the Crimson!? The Tsvietts! Is he badly wounded? Will he be able to recover?" With each question, Reeve's voice managed to get louder, until it could almost be considered shrill. The errant thought flitted through Vincent's semi-conscious mind - Strange for Reeve to get so worked up. Wonder who's got him so worried? But Vincent wasn't given time to consider the puzzle before he faded back into unconsciousness. ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- --------------- Something was wrong. That was the first new thought Vincent had. A new sound had managed to work its way into his awareness. It sounded like... Someone was crying. Vincent strove to make sense of what was happening. He was still unable to move, but his mind had cleared somewhat. He remembered his recent battle, and realized he had been placed in a regen tank. But hadn't he just heard Reeve...? Yes, Reeve had been shouting...about someone being injured. Could he have been talking about me? Why would he care? But someone was weeping...and Vincent had no idea who. He fought with his body, cursing his weakness. How badly had he been injured? He could barely force his eyes open to slits...but it was enough to bring his surroundings into view. There was a figure kneeling outside his tank...and Vincent would recognize that figure anywhere. Head bowed, face hidden in his hands, shoulders shaking...Vincent watched as Reeve quietly sobbed. Reeve was obviously trying to regain control of himself, but he seemed to be overwhelmed by his grief. One hand reached up to press against the tank's surface, and Reeve finally brought his face upwards, though he clearly had no idea that Vincent could hear him. "Vincent...please forgive me. I should never have involved you. You've been through so much, and had so much taken from you. I never thought this would happen!" Vincent's mind whirled. His injury had brought Reeve to this!? Vincent had never seen Reeve display this type of emotion. The man was normally calm and composed, thinking only of the overall goal. Why would the sight of Vincent injured pull such a strong reaction from Reeve? The sound of an opening door pulled Vincent's attention back to the present, but Reeve didn't even shift. Of course, it was Cait Sith, come to report on some incident or another. Once he was finished, Vincent expected him to walk away, but to his mild surprise, the thing stayed. Of course, Vincent knew they contained a level of self awareness, but he had never considered how much they must know about Reeve, instead of the other way around. "Still not awake then, is he?" Reeve shook his head. "No. And I'm the one who brought him to this, after all he's done. All he's been through, and I had to drag him back into things, when all he wanted was to be left alone..." Cait tilted his head to the side. "He's not the only one who would know something about being alone now, is he? You keep to yourself far too much." Reeve snorted gently. "What would you know of that?" "For shame, master. You're the one who created us. We see more than you might think. Its what we were made for! Have you not considered telling Vincent about your feelings? Why should you keep hiding them away?" "Because he would never in a million years appreciate hearing them!" Reeve shot to his feet and started pacing, as if he couldn't contain everything anymore. "For God's sake, I was an executive of Shinra! I'm sure its only because of the help I provided in bringing them down that he even tolerates my existence. He could never understand. He would never believe that just the sight of him, helpless like this..." Cait watched his master closely. "It hurts you, doesn't it?" The most hopeless laugh Vincent had ever heard escaped from Reeve's throat. "It hurts like nothing I've ever felt. I would give anything to take his place, even if it would mean my death. I'm sure the thought would not bother him, but I would give my life to protect him." "Ah, but it might bother him!" Reeve watched as his creation stepped closer. "What do you mean by that?" "Remember, when I contacted him in Kalm, I met him in your form. Now your form got shot, but he didn't know it was me! And the look on his face was not one I've ever seen before. It shocked him, it did! Oh, he took revenge on the one to 'kill' you, quick enough. And when he had, he rushed to gather you up before you were gone. I know that he cares for you, master. Perhaps you should have a chat, when he gets out?" Whatever Reeve was going to say was lost when another person entered the room. While Reeve turned to deal with the business at hand, Vincent's mind drifted over all he had heard. Reeve harbored feelings for him? The very idea shocked Vincent. When was the last time someone had felt such things for him? Not since...the beginning. I never thought anyone would feel that way about me, not after what I've become. But there was no denying the pain that Reeve was obviously feeling. Incredible. Someone felt, for him. The very idea was a gift beyond price. And how do I feel about him?One thing Cait Sith was good at, Vincent reflected sardonically, was seeing things no one else knew was there. The Cait had been all too accurate with his description of the events in Kalm. When Reeve's 'body' had been shot, when Vincent had believed his friend to be dead, it was like a part of him had also been shot. He had rushed to gather Reeve up from the floor, as if he could bring Reeve back if he moved fast enough. And when the body had fallen apart, and Cait Sith had come tumbling out, it had been all he could do to keep from reaching out and shaking the thing. He had never been more relieved than when the real Reeve had come rushing out of the WRO transport. He knew he had startled Reeve when he simply ran around the truck, Cerberus blazing, but all he could see in his mind was Reeve being shot again, and knowing that this time it would be no trick, no Cait Sith in disguise. But I've always resisted getting close to anyone. I never thought it would even be possible. Why should Reeve be any different? Vincent considered the man in question. Certainly he trusted him. Which was odd, considering the things he had done in the past. But Vincent trusted him with his life, and always had. And if he was killed? The very idea left Vincent aching, as if his heart was being squeezed. Vincent thought of Reeve being injured, and felt an immense wave of protectiveness sweep through him. Could I really be attracted to him? Vincent pictured Reeve. He had always acknowledged that Reeve was an attractive man. And Vincent knew the man was anything but weak; Vincent need have no fear of having to hold his strength in check. Reeve knew what Vincent was capable of, and respected his power, but he didn't fear it. But could Vincent make him happy? That would remain to be seen. But after considering what might be involved in such an undertaking Vincent was surprised by a surge of longing. He wanted to see what would happen! He was tired of always being alone, of living in darkness, only relying on himself. Reeve cared for him, cared enough to feel pain when Vincent was hurt, and Vincent was beginning to realize that he felt the same for Reeve. Getting out of this damned tank would take some time. Already Vincent could feel his body attempting to shut down again, clamoring for the rest that would speed his healing. But before giving in, Vincent resolved to have a long talk with Reeve as soon as he was released. Reeve would be shocked at being approached by his normally withdrawn friend, Vincent thought with some amusement. He allowed that thought to carry him into slumber, hoping that he would be recovered enough to seek out Reeve when he woke up. Current Mood:  accomplishedCurrent Music: Over and Over - Three Days Grace | | 12:10 am |
Thawing of the Heart - Hikaru no Go
Ogata sighed as he exited the Go institute. He loved Go, it was true, but by god some of the formalities were tiring. This year he would definitely seize a title, but things were never that simple. All of the preliminaries had to be won, plus all the interviews and game analysis... it could be enough to drive one to distraction. Well, it was over with for today. The 9-dan had intended to head directly to his car, when his attention was caught by movement across the street. A shorter figure was reclining on one of the benches bordering the nearby park - a very familiar figure. Ogata frowned. Shindou?The young 1-dan was a source of troubling thoughts. The teenager had progressed incredibly rapidly, turning pro after a single year as an insei. His talent had been undeniable, his promise incredible. Ogata had been planning on watching him closely. Then, without warning, he had virtually disappeared. He seemed to drop off the face of the earth, losing several matched by default, all but destroying his chances of advancing at all. No one knew what had caused the withdrawal, as Shindou refused to discuss it with anyone. Lately, it seemed that he had recovered from whatever had caused his retreat. He had returned to the institute, and his records again began showing wins. Unfortunately, records were the only thing Ogata had seen. The younger player had managed to avoid any contact with him, and the 9-dan was aware of the reason. Ogata winced as he thought about the various interactions he had had with Shindou. His pursuit of the mysterious Sai had been all-consuming, but in his desperation he had ignored all common sense. The memory of grabbing Shindou and slamming him against the wall of the hospital rose uncomfortably. Really, it was a wonder no one had interfered. And it was no surprise that Shindou was now wary of being around him. He supposed he was lucky that Shindou hadn't made any efforts to retaliate. Being underage at the time, he could have made things difficult for Ogata if he had wished to. Now Ogata watched as the younger player slumped over, looking incredibly worn. He wished there was a way to ease Shindou's mind about him. He had no desire for there to be uncomfortable feelings between them. After all, he genuinely did admire Shindou's skills, and he looked forward to seeing how far Hikaru could rise. For reasons he couldn't explain, it pained him to think of Shindou feeling uncertain around him, always wondering what he might do, as if Shindou wasn't safe when he was near. He had to find a way past this. Deciding that he couldn't have been presented with a better opportunity, Ogata began to cross the street. Shindou's head was down, and he didn't seem to be paying much attention to his surroundings. Ogata approached softly, trying not to startle Shindou. Perhaps if he began slowly, Shindou would feel less inclined to bolt. He held on to that hope as Shindou raised his head, having sensed that someone was standing nearby. His face betrayed a slight nervousness, but he didn't seem inclined to take off running just yet. Ogata tried to take that as an encouraging sign. "Ogata-sensei." "Shindou-kun. May I sit here?" Receiving a faint nod, Ogata seated himself, careful not to crowd Shindou. "I've been watching your game records. You have been doing well. Will you be able to continue this trend, do you think?" Shindou offered a small shrug. "I will do my best, of course. But one can never really tell." "I've been going through the preliminary matches. It's finally time for someone to replace Kuwabara as Honinbo. But I haven't seen much of you at the institute..." "I imagine that our oteai games aren't as involved. I don't usually stay afterward." This isn't working. Ogata thought in frustration. It was clear that Shindou wasn't quite sure what to make of Ogata's efforts, and was simply offering short, meaningless responses to his questions. Ogata wasn't prepared to simply walk away. The situation had been unresolved long enough. Perhaps it was best to just deal with the matter directly. He could only hope that Shindou would listen, rather than walking away entirely. "Shindou-kun, I didn't mean... I never intended to make you run from me." "Ogata-sensei..." "I know I have made you uncomfortable. I know that you avoid me. Most would see it as a younger player respecting the more experienced, but we know better, don't we? Your skill is great - greater than your current rank, by far. And you have never had a fear of speaking your mind, or challenging those older than you. No, you avoid *me*, you run from my approach." Shindou cast his eyes on the ground, avoiding Ogata's eyes. But Ogata's next words caused his head to whip up in surprise. "I... am sorry. I did not mean to push you so. I am sorry that things are uncomfortable between us." Ogata looked away as he sighed. "But you reminded me so much of...him. I saw his echo in your games, in the Go that you played." Unnoticed by Ogata, Hikaru's stance was growing more and more stiff. "I was just so eager... so desperate to catch a hint of..." "...Sai." If Ogata's ears had not been so sharp, they would have missed softly spoken word - hardly even uttered, a mere breath on the wind. But hear it he did, and more. The tone cut through his thoughts like a blade, resounding with a sense of agony, a sense of desperation. Quickly he returned his gaze to the young pro, frowning at what he saw. Shindou's frame was tense, his head bent forward to conceal his face behind his bangs. His shoulders were shaking, a barely-perceptible tremor. Even as Ogata watched, two crystal droplets fell, sparkling, only to be absorbed by the fabric of Shindou's clothes. "Shindou-kun?" Carefully the 9-dan reached out to lay a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Hikaru? Are you all right?" It was enough to bring down Hikaru's carefully maintained facade. Ogata's eyes widened as Hikaru collapsed, his entire body shaking with pent-up sobs. "Sai... Sai..." It seemed to be the only thing he could manage to say. Nothing had prepared Ogata for this reaction, and he found his heart clenching painfully at the sight of Shindou's misery. Although he was not known as the warmest of men, he couldn't just sit by while someone he knew and...admired (cared about?) went through something like this. Slowly he drew Hikaru to his side, gently easing Hikaru's head onto his shoulder. "Shh...easy now. Things will be all right. You're not alone. I'm here. I'm with you." A steady stream of reassurances flowed from the 9-dan, until finally Hikaru began to calm. Before Ogata could even open his mouth, Hikaru's voice drifted up once more. "Sai is...gone. He's gone. Sai is gone!" Gently Ogata began rubbing Hikaru's back, trying to keep him from unraveling again. His mind was whirling, but strangely his thoughts were not centered on his mysterious obsession. Rather, they were focused on the young pro currently falling apart in his arms, and how he would feel later if this breakdown was observed. Ogata knew that Hikaru would hate to have this episode become public. And it was apparent that he badly needed a chance to have someone listen, to share this burden. "Hikaru, are your matches done for the day? Are you required back?" Slowly Hikaru shook his head. If the oddity of Ogata's using his first name registered, it didn't show. Softly Ogata eased Hikaru away and stood up, before drawing Hikaru to his feet as well. He tried to think of something reassuring to say, before settling for a simple "Come." Quietly he led the younger man to his car, knowing that his apartment was close, and would at least be private. Current Mood:  cheerfulCurrent Music: Mysterons - Portishead | | Tuesday, December 9th, 2008 | | 10:05 pm |
Writer's Block: Set Sail
Heh. So many answers, so little time... Kaiba/Yugi - Yugioh Alucard/Seras - Hellsing Sai/Hikaru - Hikaru no Go Phoenix/Edgeworth - Phoenix Wright Kagome/Sesshomaru - Inuyasha Kirk/Spock - Star Trek Jack/Daniel - Stargate SG-1 Jim/Artemus - Wild Wild West (The tv series, *not* the movie!) Napoleon/Illya - Man from UNCLE Hotch/Gideon - Criminal Minds Buffy/Giles - Buffy the Vampire Slayer Mac/Flack - CSI New York Holmes/Watson - Sherlock Holmes Bruce/Gordon - Batman Jim/Blair - Sentinel Duncan/Methos - Highlander Gibbs/Dinozzo - NCIS Revan/Carth - Star Wars KOTOR Atton/Exile - Star Wars KOTOR 2 Jack/Will - Pirates of the Caribbean Scott/Logan - X-Men Phantom/Christine - Phantom of the Opera (True, the pairing is sort-of canon, but they don't *stay* together in canon.) Aragorn/Frodo - LOTR Vincent/Reeve - Final Fantasy 7 Harry/Severus - Harry Potter Horatio/Speed - CSI Miami Gabriel/Carl - Van Helsing Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan - Star Wars Tommy/Jason - Power Rangers Adam/Brennan - Mutant X ...need I go on? Current Mood:  gleefulCurrent Music: Freind or Foe - Tatu | | Wednesday, November 12th, 2008 | | 9:56 pm |
Writer's Block: When the Boss is Away…
Mostly, I irritate the crap out of my co-workers. Preferably, by getting the Mario platform theme (Super Mario World)stuck in everyone's head after whistling it twenty times over. :D | | Friday, October 24th, 2008 | | 8:35 am |
Writer's Block: The Final Frontier
That would not be good. People may make fun of Trek, but it has given us many positive things over the years. Star Trek is a very important part of science fiction literature and culture. | | Friday, August 22nd, 2008 | | 12:03 am |
Writer's Block: Your Favorite Series: One Last Go Round
Threshold That series was one of the most original sci-fi series I had ever seen. Not only did it have great characters, which I was looking forward to learning more about, it had a genuinely creative plot device, that managed to be both realistic, and extremely creepy. I so wanted to know more about what was planned. If that show had to be canceled, they need to set up with some novel writers or something. There was so much more plot left to be shown!!! | | Tuesday, February 26th, 2008 | | 8:23 am |
Mandatory fic post
Well, since so many communities require you to have activity in your own journal, I'm hoping this will suffice. Because I really don't talk about myself. In fact, the only reason I set up an account so long ago was for posting purposes. But, that still leaves me with a blank journal, so...here you go. Enjoy. ^_^ |
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